


I Think You're So Good (And I'm Nothing Like You)

by UltimateGamer101



Series: UG101's Undertale One-Shots [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: But Sans is there to make it better, Gotta love the angsty feels from writing at this time, Hoooo boy its past midnight, Lots of self-deprecation, Other, Reader deserves to be happy, Very depressing, Yeah it's painful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 15:02:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9497237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateGamer101/pseuds/UltimateGamer101
Summary: Chilling on the couch watching a stellar documentary leads to crying and comforting. Depression sucks, but at least you've got him to help you through it.The summary sucks cuz it's 1am and I used up all my feels on writing the story itself.





	

You sat on the couch next to your skeletal boyfriend, relaxing after a long day of work. The TV showed a sci-fi documentary on the formation of stars, one which would have held your attention at any other time, but just couldn't seem to keep it tonight. Without your input, your gaze kept sliding over to the face of the monster beside you, drinking in his expressions like someone trapped in the desert. The way his eyelights sharpened with his focus, the slight crease of his brow-bones as he absorbed the information like a sponge, the slight curve of genuine delight that formed his toothy smile- you saw it all, and it filled you with...

Sorrow.

Lately, you'd been observing your companion more closely than ever before. How he hid his own mental anguish behind the mask of fake smiles and laughs. How when nobody was looking, he'd deflate and slump down and just look so _small_ , so _crushed_ by the weight of the world on his shoulders. How when he was with you, his mask became cracked and he showed parts of himself to you that he'd never shown others, and he was _happy_ sharing these things with you... 

You just couldn't understand it. Why you? Why did his eyelights brighten up at the sight of you? Why were his smiles so much more real? What gave you the right to see even the limited sight of him that you were able to puzzle out on your own, let alone the deeper aspects that he willingly shared with you? He was always trying so hard- for his brother, for his friends, for you- to keep everyone happy... What even made you _worthy_ of this lazy skeleton's effort?

"heh, babe, you spacing out? you seem to be a little star struck, heh heh heh..."

Shaking your head free of the heavy thoughts, you smiled up at your boyfriend and curled up to lay your head on his femurs. It still amazed you that you could do this, that he allowed you to do this with him. The feeling of his arm resting on your side made that little warm amazement spread through your soul, made your smile a little softer and more wistful. This incredible being was _yours_...

"babe? what's wrong? you're crying, what's wrong?"

Were you crying? A hand lifted to wipe your eyes confirmed this, and your gaze fell to the wet spots formed by your tears on your boyfriend's shorts. Your smile wavered, cracking like thin ice on a lake, until it shattered under the weight of your previous thoughts crashing back down to the bottom of your soul. Quickly, you scrambled up, your shoulders shaking ever-so-slightly as you excused yourself to the bathroom and made your escape...

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

You berated yourself in the mirror for ruining the peaceful moment, staring your reflection in the eyes with a grimace of self-disgust twisting your features. In that moment, you hated yourself more than you'd ever hated yourself before- even more than that time you accidentally made a Whimsun cry- and you were filled with rage... A fist flew forward and smashed into the mirror, hitting hard enough to crack the surface, but not enough to shatter it. You started at your cracked reflection, finally showing who you really were inside.

The urge to sob welled up in your throat, but you swallowed it down until it was sitting heavy in your chest like the dead weight you were in this world. Your eyes burned with held back tears, and you didn't know when you fell to the floor, but the next things you saw were the pristine floor tiles staring back at you with their very visible perfection. Sure, they needed a little glue to keep them in place, but they withstood the weight of people walking all over them every day, and still shone bright in the fluorescent lighting. Even the floor itself was better than you...

Your thoughts returned to the worried boyfriend you'd left outside the bathroom door when said door was flung open, and said boyfriend glanced around with wild eyelights before settling on you and rushing forward to embrace you. A dull pain in your throat made you aware that you'd been crying audibly, a pained, keening whimper that cut off the second your boyfriend brought his hand up to rub soothing circles into your back. Your shoulders began to shake as choked mumblings made their way over your tongue and past your lips, mumblings you were barely aware of speaking as you sagged into his embrace.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't, I'm trying, I'm sorry, I can't, I can't, I can't stop, not enough, not good enough, I'm not good enough, I'm so-"

The meltdown was frozen by a swift kiss upon your lips, your thoughts temporarily blanked out as the buzzing magic pressed harder into them, insistently seeking something. A slimy appendage sought entrance, and your lips parted to allow it in, your body seeking the relief brought by the sensation of his tongue methodically swiping across the back of your teeth. In the past, he'd told you that was how skeletons soothed their mates, and now he was trying to comfort you with it.

He saw you as his mate.

The thought made you whimper softly, your body sagging into his as it lost the strength to keep itself upright. His arms carefully shifted around you to support your weight as he stood, not breaking the soothing kiss as he brought you up the stairs and into his room, soft blue magic turning off the TV and lights and closing the door as he did so. As he laid your limp body out on the bed and climbed under the covers beside you, you suddenly felt the weight of exhaustion upon you, and your eyes slid closed without your consent.

Several moments passed before you opened your eyes again, your breath shaky, but significantly calmer than it had been just a few minutes prior. The glowing gaze that met yours was filled worry... concern... fear...? Why did he...

"Wh-wh-why...?"

The question, although stuttered and broken like you were yourself, was calm enough that some of the worry eased away from his gaze. Some, only some. The fact that you'd just broken down- the fact that you even needed to ask him that question- terrified him, and you could see it in his gaze, so you rushed to explain yourself.

"S-sans, why do you p-put up with me? Why do you h-help me? Wh-why do you waste y-your time on m-m-me...? You h-have so many better options, so m-many better people to pay attention to... Your brother, Grillby, Toriel, Frisk, Alphys, Undyne... more... More important people, more whole people, more good people, _better_ people to drop the lazy act for..."

The words couldn't be stopped now if you tried, even as you desperately wanted them to be silenced. But your arms wouldn't listen to you, wouldn't bring your hands up to contain the flood of your inner demons spilling forth from your lips, so you continued speaking as the fear turned to horror on your boyfriend's face.

"Sans, you work so hard. You have 9 jobs just so Papyrus doesn't have to worry about failing to get any himself, but you pretend you only have 3 so he doesn't worry about you either. You're always smiling, that masked smile that fools everyone into thinking you're happy so they don't worry. You tell jokes and do silly pranks to lighten the mood in every dark situation you can, just to keep the people you care about happy... Yet you only drop the lazy act for me... What makes me worthy of seeing that? I've done nothing that deserves, I _am nothing-_ "

The need to breathe cuts off your words, and you take an unsteady gulp of air to continue, but a hand over your mouth prevents that. Made aware that at some point you'd closed your eyes again, you opened them, and met a gaze as hot as lava and as hard as steel. Your voice is silenced in the face of it, and you drown in the burning eyelights locked onto your pupils as he speaks.

"this. this is what makes you worthy. you've seen all these things before i could even think to let you. you've helped me so much just by noticing them, let alone listening to and soothing the fears surrounding them. you're the only person who cares about the others as much as i do, the only one i know would fight for them to be happy just as fiercely as i would, the only one who has made me happy while doing so. 

the only thing that isn't worthy of being here is whoever told you that you weren't good enough, because you are! you're there for me! i might not always tell you things, but the fact that you're even there in case i need to is more than enough to make you worthy! 

never believe that you deserve anything less than the happiness you bring to others, and if anyone tells you otherwise, then they're a dirty liar! you deserve to be happy too. 

you deserve to be happy too..."

**Author's Note:**

> It's amazing how writer's block just disappears when it's past midnight and you're sleep deprived. Comments, anyone?


End file.
